Do you remember that old expression that starts, ‘Sticks and stones may break my bones, but…’? After recent events in the media, I have focused much of the in-class facilitation I undertake on looking at the language we use in the classroom. How often do we throw away comments, especially while in the stress response, without thinking about the effect they can have? The phrase above usually finishes with ‘…words can never hurt me’, but just how true is that? Of course, rewording the phrase into, ‘Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can do lasting damage to my self-image, confidence, and resilience’ just doesn’t have the same ring to it!
I took the opportunity to share a story with a group of students earlier this week, one that has stayed with me ever since the experience. Several years ago, while teaching in an all-boys literacy-focussed class, I encountered a very ‘creative’ young man. I intentionally use the term ‘creative’ to try to show that he was a thinker who embraces lateral thought, and often moves in an unexpected direction when compared to peers. He thought more laterally than any other student I’ve encountered. He had an incredibly vivid imagination that would push him to the edge of, and beyond, his levels of self-control. Yes, he’d been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), but that’s in addition to his lateral thinking style. Much of his classroom behaviour focused on using an incredible bank of avoidance strategies when it came to working independently. He often told jokes, shared funny stories, and went out of his way to make others laugh. The attention he received from others seemed to encourage him to pursue greater levels of laughter, often at his own expense. It was that behaviour that saddened me. The attention that followed visibly lifted him, however, the disregard for whether that attention was positive or negative led us to loggerheads on many occasions, but everything changed after I asked why. You see, it turns out that two years previously he had been taught by a very experienced, stern male colleague of mine. Just a week or so into that year, the teacher stopped the class, highlighted the student’s distracting behaviour, and promptly labelled him the class clown. And it stuck…