wellbeing

Wellbeing: What’s it about?

Posted on by

wellbeing

Image by CORE Education, all rights reserved.

Wellbeing everywhere

Wellbeing has permeated every facet of our social psyche. It’s in vogue, a fashionable word, possibly even overused. A bit like resilience, but that’s a word for another day. It’s even made CORE’s Ten Trends this year. Wellbeing is defined by the Oxford English Dictionary as “The state of being comfortable, healthy, or happy.” Internationally there is no agreement on a definition for wellbeing, however, those who research the area agree that wellbeing is more than the absence of disease, it is a construct with many parts. In order to flourish, people need to experience high levels of wellbeing.

Positive Psychology is the field of science that explores optimal human functioning and aims to discover the factors that enable individuals and communities to thrive. Where traditional psychology explores what’s wrong with us and is very much focused on a disease model, Positive Psychology asks what is right with us. This science is also about the permission to be human and being able to experience the full range of human experiences and emotions without getting stuck or hiding from emotions that are hard. As humans, we can become mentally unhealthy when we get stuck in anger, anxiety, depression, judgement or guilt. Positive Psychology offers us tools for coping with negative events, enhancing positive experiences and flexibly moving through the whole gamut of human emotions as we journey through life. It is this lens that I write with.

Focusing on the adults first

It makes sense that if we look after our teachers that they are going to look after our ākonga. I like psychology professor Felicia Huppert’s description of wellbeing: Feeling good and functioning well. So for the purposes of this post, this is the definition we will keep in mind

To operate at our best we need to be well. We all have personal stories about people who, by their own admission, contributed to the outcomes of challenging and difficult situations because they were not operating at or even near their full potential. I’ll never forget the highly stressed doctor (her very own words, and she looked it) repeatedly failing to insert a needle that would drip feed essential medication to our fragile premature son’s heart. Thankfully a mindful nurse intervened, took over and got the vein on her first attempt. We intuitively know it, and the evidence backs it up, when an organisation or individual’s wellbeing is high, performance is enhanced, people are happier, healthier and more connected.

As a profession here in New Zealand, educators are a generous bunch. At times it appears that working hard in education is like a badge of honour. How can you really care when you don’t put your life and soul into the vocation. Give, give, give until we’re spent! Let’s be realistic, this is not sustainable, certainly not if we expect the best outcomes for our ākonga. We instinctively know this is right. How could it not be true? Yet the conveyor belt that is modern life, and our education system, continues to rattle around at an ever faster pace.

We need to be mindful that giving everything for others and leaving nothing in the tank for ourselves can leave us utterly depleted. Again sustainability is the issue here, particularly given the critical teacher shortage that we are currently experiencing in Aotearoa, New Zealand.

We need to be more mindful about our lives, including our workspaces. We need to make the connection that our wellbeing impacts on our ability to be great at what we do. We need to tune in. We need to make wellbeing a part of daily routines.

Just one small step

We often talk about the idea of micro-steps when working with teachers around their wellbeing. There is a variety of wellbeing frameworks out there. However, one of the most widely used wellbeing frameworks referred to as PERMA, comes from the work of Professor Martin Seligman.

Seligman believes there are five foundational pillars to wellbeing:

  • Positive emotions (some describe this as happiness)
  • Engagement
  • Relationships
  • Meaning and purpose
  • Accomplishment.

perma

Graphic by Lauren Douglas, CORE Education. CC BY-NC-ND 4.0

Want to measure your own wellbeing?

Your responses to the 23 questions on the PERMA meter will give you an idea of how well you are doing in relation to the five pillars. Other researchers have since added an additional pillar of vitality or health which refers to our sleeping, eating, physical movement and our ability to cope with stress. I like the PERMAH (where the H stands for Health) survey created by McQuaid and Kern, leading researchers in the applications of positive interventions.

When considering being well from a Te Ao Māori stance, one of our well-known wellbeing frameworks is Te Whare Tapa Whā, developed by Professor Sir Mason Durie ,1995).

Te Whare Tapa Whā has four foundational walls:
Te Taha Hinengaro (psychological health)
Te Taha Wairua (spiritual health)
Te Taha Tinana (physical health)
Te Whānau (family health)

whare

Image by gerard on Flickr. CC BY-SA 2.0.

We also have Te Wheke, which was developed by Dr Rangimarie Turuki Arikirangi Rose Pere. This model provides the additional dimensions of Mauri (life force in people and objects), Hā a koro mā, a kui mā (breath of life from forbearers), Mana ake (unique identity) Whatumanawa (the open and healthy expression of emotion).

The Fonofale model created by Fuimaono Karl Pulottu-Enderman considers the Pacific view on health. Here the idea of cultural values and beliefs as being the shelter of life are expressed.

faleImage by Michael Coghlan on Flickr. CC BY-SA 2.0.

All these frameworks have much in common. Our head health, body health, our relationships, and meaning and purpose matters to our overall state of being well. Which framework you decide to use, and there are more than I have mentioned here, depends on your own needs in aligning with culture and or personal preference.

Formulating your wellbeing plan

There are a number of positive interventions that we can use to dial up our pillars of wellbeing.

If I had used Martin Seligman’s PERMA framework and completed the survey, a helpful next step for me to consider might be to focus on two of the pillars to keep it manageable. For argument’s sake, let’s say I chose the positive emotion and engagement pillars as my foci.

Positive emotion – To boost this pillar, I may want to engage in the jolts of joy activity. Here I would write down five things that bring a smile to my face and then reach for this list when I need a boost of positivity (such as after an excruciatingly long meeting).

Engagement – Create my play history – remember a time during my childhood where I did something that brought me great joy and excitement, and then think about ways I could recreate this in my work.

Other examples of activities can be found within the PERMAH survey.
When we talk about positive interventions, they are usually simple in nature and often have us referring back to something in our past, present or future. Very doable indeed.

Wellbeing as a collective endeavour

‘Wellbeing’ is very subjective and means different things to different individuals, so a nice place to start is to have a collective understanding of what wellbeing can mean for all those who have a role in supporting our ākonga and then growing your shared understanding from there.

If Positive Psychology were to be distilled into three words it would be that “other people matter”. These are not my words, but those of the late Professor Chris Peterson.

We know from the research that if we wish to impact the wellbeing of our ākonga, we must first impact the wellbeing of our educators. This is not just our teachers, but also any other adult who works directly or indirectly with our ākonga.

Embracing wellbeing: a few compelling reasons

  • We often mirror our teaching counterparts in the UK. In the 12 months leading up to April 2018, the Guardian reported that the number of teachers seeking mental health support had risen by 35% from a charity that specialises in supporting teachers in education.
  • A 2016 NZ teacher survey discovered that around 87% of teachers (mainly primary) used no strategies to respond to stress and just carried on regardless.

Strategies that enable staff wellbeing

Some effective strategies and practices include:

  • Regular conversations about wellbeing with staff
  • Leaders being approachable and open to discuss issues around workload and how to collectively manage this
  • Flexible spaces and places to work from when on release
  • Wellbeing as a regular agenda item on meetings
  • Individual/group coaching to support the wellbeing of teachers and leaders
  • Having a well-being team that is able to support a planned approach.

In a recent article from one principal who prioritised the wellbeing of their own staff found that they were able to positively impact stress levels and feelings of working in a much more supported environment. Ākonga achievement was also positively impacted.

As nation builders, I believe that our profession is a splendid torch and we want to make it burn as brightly as possible for our future generations. It is imperative that we can do this with our wellbeing intact. We all deserve to feel good and function well.

By being able to focus on wellbeing we are able to build on our emotional resources so that when we are faced with challenging times, either individually or collectively, we can draw on these bank of resources to support us through.

Find out more

  • Explore the Educators’ Wellbeing Toolkit
  • Talk to your PLD facilitators about how you can weave in wellbeing into your context when considering growing your leaders, staff wellbeing, inclusive practices.
  • Chat to Ara about wellbeing facilitation and the next steps in your own learning.

References

Ao Ako Global Learning. About Rose – Ao Ako Global Learning. Retrieved from https://aoakogloballearning.co.nz/about-rose/

Central PHO. (2017). Central PHO Pacific Cultural Guidelines (pp. 3-4). Central PHO.

CORE Education. (2019). Ten Trends 2019 – Wellbeing. Retrieved from http://www.core-ed.org/research-and-innovation/ten-trends/2019/wellbeing/

Health Promotion Forum of New Zealand. (2011). Te Whare Tapa Whā: Mason Durie – Hauora. Retrieved from https://hauora.co.nz/te-whare-tapa-wha-mason-durie/

Lang, D. (2018). Every school needs a staff wellbeing team – here’s how to start one. Retrieved from https://www.theguardian.com/teacher-network/teacher-blog/2018/feb/01/staff-wellbeing-team-school-improved

McQuaid, M. Kern, P. (2017). Your Wellbeing Blueprint: Feeling good and doing well at work, Australia.Michelle McQuaid.

Profile: Christopher Peterson. (2013). Retrieved from https://www.livehappy.com/science/profiles/profile-christopher-peterson

Save Our Schools NZ. (2016). Teacher Stress & Anxiety in New Zealand Schools. Retrieved from https://saveourschoolsnz.com/2016/12/01/teacher-stress-anxiety-in-nz-schools/

Seligman, M. E. (2011). Flourish. North Sydney, N.S.W.: Random House Australia.

Stanley, J. (2018). Teachers are at breaking point. It’s time to push wellbeing up the agenda. Retrieved from https://www.theguardian.com/teacher-network/2018/apr/10/teachers-are-at-breaking-point-its-time-to-push-wellbeing-up-the-agenda

University of Pennsylvania. Profile of Dr. Martin Seligman | Authentic Happiness. Retrieved from https://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/faculty-profile/profile-dr-martin-seligman

University of Pennsyvania. Professor Felicia A. Huppert, Ph.D. | Authentic Happiness. Retrieved from https://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/faculty-profile/professor-felicia-huppert-phd

read more
Posted in
ratings

What kind of feedback do you give? Constructive or destructive?

Posted on by

Providing someone with feedback is valuable. In our roles as educators, whether facilitator, leader, teacher, or a combination of all, we leave ourselves open to opinion. From time to time this feedback is shared constructively, points are collaboratively established to be worked through and targets are set. The outcome? Positive change. And then there are other times when feedback or criticism is destructive.

criticism“The difference between constructive criticism and destructive criticism is the way in which comments are delivered. Although both forms are challenging your ideas, character, or ability, when someone is giving destructive criticism it can hurt your pride and have negative effects on your self-esteem and confidence. Destructive criticism is often just thoughtlessness by another person, but it can also be deliberately malicious and hurtful. Destructive criticism can, in some cases, lead to anger and/or aggression.” (Dealing With Criticism)

For those of you who have been on the receiving end of destructive criticism, I truly empathise. We stand in front of our peers or learners, delivering, teaching, or supporting with passion. From personal experience, I have been astounded by how hard some comments have hit me. It hurts! It can be completely unexpected and feels almost impossible to prepare for.

What troubles me most is the long-term damage that destructive criticism can cause. Whether motivated by a sense of helping, or, in rare cases, actively designed to cause turmoil, in the education sector it simply isn’t good enough. Our roles and much of our professional development relies heavily on the feedback of peers. Education remains an intriguing mystery at times as I watch amazing middle leaders deliver well-constructed feedback for their students, personalising comments, and finding deeper meaning, while the same is not done for their peers.

How could you frame feedback?

In 2004, Emily Heaphy and Marcial Losada conducted a study of the nature and ratio of effective feedback. Although their data has now been widely reviewed and challenged on a statistical level (not on a wider interpretation of impact level), the basic premise of their findings is well worth understanding. They found, “The average ratio for the highest-performing teams was 5.6 (that is, nearly six positive comments for every negative one).” (Zenger and Folkman 2013). Taking the meaning into account over the data as a fact, this leads us to believe that we perform better when the ratio of positive comments is much greater than negative. This in itself is not a revelation. A happy team who feel supported and trust their leadership will perform more effectively and cohesively than a team who feels the opposite — it’s human nature. However, seeing this ratio made me reflect on the feedback I had given to a peer when reading through their sabbatical report recently.

example of criticism

In no way am I suggesting my feedback here is perfect — far from it! Prior to this paragraph was a list of wider thinking questions that were designed to start deeper conversations, but upon rereading, I realised quickly that they could be seen as highly critical. After some rephrasing, but without losing the direction and with the addition of positivity to balance the challenge, I sent the feedback. It was well received and acted upon. I think the key here was to understand what it might feel like to be on the end of the email before pressing the send button. This is not always easy, but brings us back to the old proverb, ‘treat others as you would wish to be treated.’ It’s not perfect, but I don’t know anyone who would want to be on the end of destructive criticism!

When should you deliver feedback?

So, what if you’ve carefully phrased the criticism, balanced positive and negative elements, but made sure the meaning and direction has been maintained. When do you send it? Think carefully here. Have you ever received a challenging email late at night or over the weekend? It could be argued that we need a level of self-control and don’t need to check emails or messages in our personal time, but digital technology has changed things and we live in a predominantly ever-connected world. Switching off and demarcating non-message/email time is a whole different conversation. In this instance, imagine receiving something constructive over the weekend. It could go either way, right? Gently nagging at you throughout the weekend and distracting from time with whānau and friends. Or, it could be well received and not worry you until Monday morning. But dare we assume? I think, perhaps, the biggest question to ask here is: can it wait until the morning or Monday? If the answer is no, shouldn’t it to lead to asking, how the best way to share might be?

How should you deliver feedback?

To be effective, I believe you have to know the person on a personal level so that you know how they respond to different modes of communication and which they prefer. It’s important to know that one of your colleagues likes bad news or challenges to be shared face to face, whereas another is happy to receive it via Snapchat. For some, being able to hear someone’s tone on the telephone or read their expression and body language in person (or via video call with cameras on) is important. For others, being face to face with a colleague who is sharing criticism may be intimidating and they may feel uncomfortable outside of text-based communication. Neither is right or wrong, they are simply preferences. If we don’t ascertain what our colleague’s preference is, we run the risk of getting it wrong and potentially affecting them on a personal level.

How do we deal with criticism?

depressionIt’s not fair to assume that our reaction to every piece of criticism received will be the same. It is dependent on who the sender is, how it’s worded, and what the positive/negative ratio is.

“The key thing to remember is that whatever the circumstance is, don´t respond in anger as this will cause a scene and create bad feelings – and possibly a bad image of you.” (Dealing With Criticism).

Of course, there are generic things you can do to calm and deal with situations effectively, some of which can be applied to multiple situations:

Talk to someone

It is worth remembering that teaching and education rely heavily on collaboration and cooperation. Find someone you trust and share openly with them. It’s about finding perspective and understanding that an immediate reaction could be clouded by heightened emotion- we’re human!

Don’t press send

Write the email if you need to. Draft in a document, record it as a voice memo, do whatever you feel you need to do to get it out of your system, but do not press send. Everyone needs an outlet.

Focus on the positives

It can be hard to find the positives in a pile of negatives, but if you look hard, they’re often there. Combined with possibly talking with someone for a fresh set of eyes, hunt through for anything that resembles a comment that could be a compliment. If one simply cannot be found, stop reading. Put it down. Return to step one.

Respond (at an appropriate time)

The key here is appropriate. A response doesn’t mean a defence. It may be as simple as acknowledging the criticism and knowing when to cease the conversation. If the criticism is truly unjust and undeserved, mediation may be needed. Find an alternative perspective and have a comparison. Otherwise, let it go; the damage done from holding on to something you cannot change far outweighs anything else.

Find a different cup

A close colleague of mine, who recently supported me through my own challenge, shared how strange it was that we so often end up focusing on the negative. On a page of beautifully balanced constructive criticism, our eyes immediately search for the thing we know will upset us the most! It made me wonder how often we bank the comments that make us feel good. How do we keep the cup full in the background, so we know it’s there to drink from when we need it? There is nothing arrogant about storing positivity to improve a sense of self. After all, we have a first-aid kit in the house, why not have one for the mind?

In conclusion…

In closing, something I think we all need to remember (including me as I write this) is that we are our own harshest critics. Whether that stems from the words of others or a deeply reflective sense of self, it’s about what we do with the thinking and words we receive. Do we let them stoke the flames of a raging fire of insecurity? Or, are we able to let them pass by us like a cool breeze? The internationally renowned singer Adele once said, “I have insecurities of course, but I don’t hang out with anyone who points them out.”

 

References
(n.d.). Dealing with Criticism | SkillsYouNeed. Retrieved July 10, 2018, from https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/dealing-with-criticism.html
Zenger, J and Folkman, J.
(2013, March 15). The Ideal Praise-to-Criticism Ratio — Harvard Business Review. Retrieved July 10, 2018, from https://hbr.org/2013/03/the-ideal-praise-to-criticism

Image credits
Criticism, Write a Review, Review from Pixabay CC0
Depression, Voices, Self Criticism from Pixabay  CC0

read more
Posted in
wellbeing wordle

Nothing about us without us: Student wellbeing

Posted on by

Schools cannot simply rely on their positive culture and respectful relationships to promote wellbeing but need to provide opportunities for students to make decisions about their wellbeing and to be active in leading their learning, Education Review Office, 2016, p. 18.

The wellbeing of young people is increasingly an area of focus for schools here in Aotearoa New Zealand, as well as overseas. In the past, we have possibly relied too heavily on an implicit approach to the wellbeing of our staff, students, and school community that:

  • teachers and students have a good rapport
  • leaders have an ‘open door’ policy whereby any issue can be raised at any time
  • the school environment has a positive feeling.

While these are indeed all strengths schools can build upon, this isn’t an approach to wellbeing in and of itself. If we see wellbeing as important, then it must be reflected in all areas and aspects of a school. Wellbeing requires an explicit approach, as the Education Review Office (ERO) calls for in the quote above.

What is wellbeing? When I asked participants this very question at a recent CORE Breakfast, this is what people said:

wellness wordle

A synonym I like to use is flourishing (as did one or two others!). That our young people are nurtured to do more than exist; they thrive. They have the right to be who they are without having to leave any aspect of their identity (such as their ethnicity, culture, gender, sexual orientation) at the school gate.

This is all very laudable, but how do schools go about explicitly planning for our young people to flourish and thrive?

Both ERO and the New Zealand Council for Educational Research (NZCER) have produced useful work for schools focusing on the wellbeing of students. When we bring this material together, we can see that both organisations call for:

  • a whole-school approach to wellbeing
  • taking a youth development perspective in wellbeing work
  • seeing young people as active agents in their lives.

Whole school really means whole school: that wellbeing goals are reflected in school policy, curriculum, the physical environment, pastoral care practices, in the staffroom, in the boardroom, and in the classroom. It means that we monitor the wellbeing of all students and staff, and that we iteratively design and evaluate wellbeing strategies and initiatives.

Taking a youth development perspective requires moving beyond our previous practices of focusing on responding to specific issues as they present themselves (bullying, teen pregnancy, smoking, for example) to promoting wellbeing. It also means that students are actively involved in developing and leading wellbeing programmes. This goes hand-in-hand with treating young people as agentic. Young people are experts in their own lives; they have knowledge that deserves respect and offers learning opportunities for adults.

Last year, I had the privilege of being selected for the Lifehack Flourishing Fellowship. Lifehack was a systems-level intervention in youth mental health and wellbeing in Aotearoa New Zealand. One of the amazing resources I was introduced to was the ‘Mapping and Mobilising Conditions for Youth Wellbeing and Hauora’. This is a tool primarily designed for youth work teams and organisations to “identify and strengthen their practices and ways of working across areas that are known to promote youth wellbeing, hauora, and positive youth development.” As soon as I saw it, I got excited. I could see its potential to be used in schools as a reflection tool. I tested it with a group of teachers, and we had a think about both its format and its language. Based on their feedback and thoughts, I had a play to create this version for use in schools and Kāhui Ako: Pathways towards student wellbeing.

In it, I pose three key questions:

  1. Agency and Engagement: How are young people involved?
  2. Cohesion and Collaboration: How do we learn and work together to nurture wellbeing systemically?
  3. Environment and Community: Do our environments show that young people are valued and important?

Agency and engagement

Much of the literature about youth wellbeing places emphasis on agency — that young people are involved in the planning, leading, and implementation of wellbeing programmes and initiatives. We should work towards the consistent involvement of diverse groups of young people, including initiatives and programmes they co-design and lead.

As a prompt to consider where you might be at in your school with regards to agency and engagement, you may like to consider student leadership.

  • Who are the student leaders in your school?
  • How are they selected?
  • What role(s) do they fulfil? How much agency do these leaders have?
  • Who is not represented in student leadership roles?

And perhaps more broadly:

  • To what extent are young people involved in the design of programmes/initiatives and in decision-making generally?
  • Are there are a variety of opportunities for young people to participate and be involved in meaningful ways?

Cohesion and collaboration

To grow the capacity of a school to support youth wellbeing, it is important to be a learning community. The principle of ako is crucial here: how do we learn with and from one another; how do we share this learning; and, how do we curate this learning? The challenge in this space is to have a commitment to cohesion, innovation, and collaboration, and iterative ways of working and learning both internally and externally.

As a prompt to consider where you might be at in your school with regards to cohesion and collaboration, you may like to consider learning as inquiry.

  • Who decides what is taught and how?
  • To what extent is learning through inquiry a basis for learning in classrooms; as professional learning and development; as building capacity for leadership?
  • How do we share the learning from our inquiries with one another?

And perhaps more broadly:

  • To what extent are individuals, groups, teams and/or departments operating in silos or in isolation?
  • How do individuals and teams draw on and contribute to data and a shared knowledge base?

Environment and community

The third aspect to consider is that of environment and community. This is intentionally broad, encompassing all aspects of the environment: the physical, cultural, social and emotional environments of the school. It is important that the input and value of young people are reflected in places, spaces and governance structures.

As a prompt to consider where you might be at in your school with regards to environment and community, you may like to consider what’s on display on the school and classroom walls.

  • Do we display learning in progress or finished products?
  • Who decides what is displayed?
  • Who decides where material is displayed?
  • How often is material for display changed?
  • What isn’t displayed on walls?

And perhaps more broadly:

  • Do young people feel welcome and included in our spaces and community places?
  • Does the design and management of amenities and spaces specifically incorporate young people’s needs?

These are big issues for schools to grapple with. However, starting by asking young people what is happening for them in their lives and in your school; auditing wellbeing programmes, initiatives and data; and then considering the strengths the school has to build upon, are useful beginning steps. The key theme is that of agency: Nothing about us without us. This is a wero all schools should wrestle with.

Resources:

 

Let’s not forget about the importance of supporting the health and wellbeing
of all staff in centres, schools and kura, too.

Discover the Educators’ Wellbeing Toolkit.

read more
Posted in
wellbeing resilience

Where did my resilience go?

Posted on by

wellbeing - resilience

Success is a beautiful beast. To feel valued and needed is a huge factor in professional wellbeing and something we strive to achieve. I, like many, have changed roles and schools every 2–3 years, in the search for something new and exciting, looking for opportunities to grow. With each move, I’ve made amazing friends and colleagues, worked tirelessly to pursue different career options, all in the name of powerful student learning. I laugh when friends describe me as a bit of a machine, always churning out work, blog posts, reflections, and sharing new learning. I suppose it’s fair to say that in the last six years, I’ve been relatively successful.

But, what about the mistakes? I do not use that term lightly. In my world, a mistake is unlike an error. It is something that cannot be corrected and simply must be owned. Some may even equate it to failure — a powerful motivator and learning tool in itself. A mistake, to me, feels very much like the end of the world, albeit briefly. I enter a period of turmoil and heightened emotion, unable to claw my way back out of the pit and losing all sight of rational thought. Clearly, that’s not a healthy reaction and one that’s led me to reflect deeply on strategies for resilience.

It’s widely felt that students now have far less resilience than previous generations. A quick Google search brings up dozens of scholarly articles and posts from across the globe. PBS News recently reported:

“Coupled with an increase in diagnosable psychiatric disorders is a reported decline in average student resilience, writes research psychologist Denise Cummins.”

Something very disturbing is happening on college campuses. A 2014 survey by the American College Health Association found that 94 percent of counseling center directors reported a steady increase in the number of college students with severe psychological problems, and 89 percent reported an increase in the number of students arriving on campus who were already taking prescription medication for anxiety or depression.
Coupled with an increase in diagnosable psychiatric disorders is a reported decline in average student resilience.” (Cummins 2016)

There is so much focus on the younger generation — and rightly so — that the professional generation that supports them is seemingly overlooked. Adult resilience seems to ebb and flow far more than it does in children. The constant pressure to succeed, and visible rewards in doing so, mean that many of us meet failure head on but often do not have enough ‘left in the tank’ to proactively do anything about it. And yet, we find ourselves surprised by the lack of resilience, asking ourselves, where did it go!

Searching for strategies to draw yourself up from the bottom of the cliff feels a little like sending the ambulance down after you’ve already fallen. Of course, I’m not suggesting we do not rescue those who have fallen hard. What I am suggesting is that we need to actively notice the signs and prepare people for failure, while simultaneously promoting success. In waiting until the point of crashing, are we allowing the damage to be done when we could have actively noticed it earlier and found strategies to support? Constantly focusing on the positive and success is a wonderful experience and can, in some situations, bring happiness and cohesion to a staff. However, the need to let the pendulum centre itself and find a balance between positive focus and coping with mistakes is a need I see in many schools and institutions visited.

The American Psychological Association has a range of strategies for developing resilience and building on the skills already in place. These are just as applicable to adults as they are to students. I’ve incorporated some of their main headers below and tried to retain an educational lens.

Make connections

Knowing others share your struggle and accepting their help is key to mental wellbeing. As teachers, we isolate ourselves, focusing on student achievement and developing strong relationships with our learners. As leaders, we need to model the need for support and show students and whānau that it’s okay to seek help.

Avoid seeing crises as insurmountable problems

The old expression, ‘It’s not the end of the world’, just isn’t going to cut it here. Sometimes, it genuinely feels like it IS the end of the world. In this instance, the advice is simple. Breathe. Reflect. Share. Many with good intentions will dive headlong into the situation and attempt to help find a rational balance where there seemingly is none. As the person going through a crisis, the first step lies within. Breathe. Oxygenate the brain and decrease the heart rate. Let the adrenaline settle and, when ready, reflect and seek out someone to share with.

Accept that change is a part of living

I’ve written widely around change and resistance. It is, quite simply put, everywhere. Should the lacking of resilience manifest after a period of unsettlement and change, find time to return to your ‘Why’. The ‘How’ and ‘What’ remain adaptable as outcomes, while leadership and direction changes. Your ‘Why’ is a strong constant, and if powerful and well formed, will logically lead to reflection and redetermining.

Take decisive actions

By no means am I suggesting you must allow the irrational thoughts to dictate your immediate action. As you calm, find ways to own the challenge. If a mistake, apologise and mean it. We live in a world of semantics and often find ourselves on the end of apologies that, if unpacked properly, are not apologies at all. Anything that begins with ‘I’m sorry, but…’ just isn’t an apology. Likewise, ‘I’m sorry you feel that way…’ is quite the opposite to a genuine, heartfelt owning of a mistake.

head-in-sand

If your resilience is challenged by a situation, take the time to breathe and strategise. Set clear goals to move forward and find both short and long-term steps to overcoming the difficulty. If it’s personal, find a way to talk. Avoid email and interpretable communication. Accept that, if other parties are not ready, then you have long-term steps to focus on while the dust settles. One thing remains constant, regardless of the situation — burying your head in the sand just isn’t going to help find a resolution.

Nurture a positive view of yourself and keep things in perspective.

We are not machines. Our humanness is what distinguishes us from the ones and zeros that make up the thinking of a computer. We have colour and beauty in our lives; sometimes it’s simply a case of opening our eyes. Nurturing a positive view is not a step to becoming arrogant. The more infallible we believe ourselves to be, the harder the fall becomes. Accept that it’s okay to make mistakes and find positive balances in family or outside of the classroom/institution. Find the things that make you smile and hold them close. A small mistake, despite often feeling insurmountable, needs to remain just that —  small. Never underestimate the power of reflection and the strength of someone else’s perspective.

Reach out to those who can make a difference

Many of us find ourselves in a world where we are not our own masters. At times, it is the action of another that is the catalyst for turmoil. Autonomy is wonderful, but, we must not lose sight of the chain that enables us the freedom to both fail and succeed. Identifying those who control the situation, without seeking blame, is paramount to successfully move forward. Choosing some careful and honest words will highlight just how challenging a situation is when shared with someone who has the power to make a change on your behalf.

greg-rakozy-199745-smallerAs we continue striding forward and into the unknown, many of those following do not realise the challenge a leader faces. In turn, the leader plasters on the smile and buries the challenges, both personal and professional, in the name of strong and stable leadership. And before we know it, it’s too late. The sleep has been lost, the irrational conversations have happened and we find ourselves lying at the bottom of a cliff, wondering when it all came crashing down. Hiding our struggles has a place. Not everyone needs to know or, indeed, cares about the trials and tribulations of our lives. Just remember those who do. If you’re hanging onto the edge or already halfway down, it isn’t too late to accept a rope — we simply have to remember to ask those we are closest to, to throw one down and hold on tight. And remember — if you choose the right person, they’ll never let go.

So, where did my resilience go? I don’t think it really went anywhere, it just took the support of an amazing friend and a little time to find it again.

 

Sources
Cummins, D. 2016 http://www.pbs.org/newshour/making-sense/student-resilience-time-low/
The Road to Resilience, retrieved from: http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/road-resilience.aspx (American Psychology Association)

Image Credits
I can’t see you… So you can’t see me: by Peter on Flickr under CC2
Mountaineer: Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash under CC0
Feature image: Photo by Nik Shuliahin on Unsplash under CC0

wellbeing-toolkit

read more
Posted in